Listening to Michael Nyman's "The Heart Seeks Pleasure First". It's so beautiful and timeless and captivating. Sigh. These days.. have been so long drawn and uncertain. Mostly the violin is giving me so much headache. It isn't that I hate it. Just my love hate affair with it. I dread to take it out but when I do, I cannot seem to put it aside. That invisible tension that inevitably draws one towards it is unmistakable. And yet, I wonder why do I still have sleepless nights from that beautiful instrument... Perhaps the only way to have anything is to give everything. And the only way to love it is to stop hating it.