Went out with Zhi Hui today! Am back at home, with a big headache. Splitting headache.. from lots of things. But going out with Zhi is damn fun! We met at Paragon asnd checked out United Colors of Benetton! Too bad the spring summer collection sucked. Guess has nothing but boring sale stuff. Then we went Heerens and nothing interested us enough. Man, I think that place is so juvenile. It's like stocked with pre-teens rubbish like stuff toys and slingbags.. eww. So we decided it'd make us gag if we remained any longer and decided to go Taka instead. That place was cooler. Checked out Tommy Hilfiger! I seriously think the designs are getting a little odd. And Zhi Hui agreed! It's like you can't really picture yourself wearing them.. not that they're skimpy or anything.. it's like neither casual nor formal. That odd, narrow bandwidth that caters to a certain fashion sense that is neither classy nor tasteful. But they do have the occasion classic piece. Hilfiger used to have such beautiful clothes! Where have they all gone to? Or maybe, we just don't have them here. Ok. then we made our way down to Taka Guess to see Charm. We didn't browse. I was checking out my sister. ;) *take that!* She told us to check out Zara next door, which was having a sale and I met Clara! :D Woohoo! Hehz.. she rebonded her hair! Ok. So Zhi and I got a little put off by the long queue to the fitting room and we decided to make our way down to Zara Liat and Wheelock instead. We met the same problem at Zara Liat and I swear the salesgirl should be sacked. What horrid service! She was so rude, so curt and so proud.. I don't really care if I'm being bitchy here. Because that girl deserves it. And it wasn't just me being pissed off by her service..(if what she offers is really called service) the other customers were pretty frustrated with her too. Oh wells. Forgive and forget. I'd probably never see her in my life again. Got nothing from Zara. So we went down stairs to Starbucks to have a drink. And guess who I met? Pretty girl Oafie! *muack* I was so happy to see her in such a long time! haha. She ran out from behind the counter and hugged me! hey girl! Take care k! We'll go out someday when you ain't working yeah? Zhi insisted that we return to Wheelock to check out Nike Golf, coz she needed some polos for her golfing trip tmr in Thailand. Okie doks! So we went to Nike Golf and guess what? They didn't stock nice collared plain polos! It's pretty dumb to buy those non-collared ones coz some clubs won't allow you onto the turf.. yeah. So we wasted our time. And finally, Zhi had to go home to pack her luggage for tmr and there goes our shopping adventure. Pretty eventful I would say...

Pretty pissed off with my other friend these few days.. we've been arguing non stop whenever we talk. Like hello, I'm entitled to my own opinions, just like you're to yours. And stop making me think like you, because we're different in our own ways. We talk, we don't brainwash. I'm stating the general facts of life. Facts that you're too afraid to face and acknowledge. Now tell me who's the one who's weak! We can't keep hiding behind a veil and watch the world spin from the curtains backstage. Enough said. And yeah, I'm not the girl that you can take out as and when you're bored, because I've got my own life to lead. I'm not the shirleys and michelles you have in your contact list. It's easy for you to get them, huh? Too bad it's not working on me. I'm a girl who has a mind of her own. If you want my respect, earn it. Urgh. I can't believe you're turning me into a hate-men machine. Actually, correction. You're turning me into a hate-you machine.

Just came back from YO! It was so scary just now. Walked out of the small room after getting my defective cd replaced, I bumped into 2 dudes about to start a fight. I'm not kidding when I say about to fight. It almost got too physical, had not others come to separate them. So I quickly step out of the cross fire. Man.. almost got caught in the middle of it! Anyway, YO was great! AS USUAL. :D I always enjoy it.

Oh, Shu Xiang! Oh man. Haven't seen you in so long and now you're heading back! Anyway, practise hard yeah! Then someday, when I go to a concert, I'd probably see you playing professionally! All the best, dude! Take care and keep in touch! :D

oh and Ike.. hey! Not sure if you'll see this, but yeah. We're all just as sad as you are..yeah. So you're not in this alone..But always believe that when God opens the door, no one can close it. And He will open it, eventually, in His time when the time is right, cause He knows what's best for us. don't give up k! And I know Ting's pretty upset too... hey girl, we can't change our fates, but we've got to keep believing it'll get better.

Maryann... I know what you mean by you feel weird over it.. I felt the same way too. It's as though you don't know what to feel, yeah? At a loss for emotions. I felt that way when she passed on too.. upset, unbelieving. It's tough losing someone. But we've to learn to let go. In my mind, she still very much alive. It's as though she never really left, but just took a long break to Heaven. She's in a better place now, yeah, you've got to believe that, looking down from where she is. Be strong, girl! And the upcoming prelims and A's.. we'll walk through it together k. And come out alive. Trust me. :D

Sheesh.
What happens when someone shatters the good image you had of someone else?
Urgh. Why do I not see the dark side?
You seemed perfect. Do you know?
I never knew. Had no right to know. So much.
Silence didn't use to be so haunting.
Beneath that exterior
Shiny beautiful surfaces are scary
like still water, you never know what's lurking beneath the placid surface.
Whatever.
I shouldn't have known so much
you would have remained forever perfect,
impeccable in my mind
Whatever.
you'll never know what I know anyway.
And I'll never know what you think either.
Sadly, I don't want to.
But anyhow,
I'll say this for you.
I give you my blessing wherever you may be.
For old times sake...

hey. I'm screwed up. Totally. the only reason I'm still here blogging is because I'm trying to take a breather, or I'll die. Been listening to this song, NOT for the lyrics, (though it's sweet) but for the sad melody... the piano at the background's like raindrops falling... Listen to it! :D by Britney Spears.

Everytime

Notice me, take my hand
Why are we strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me

Everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I make believe that you are here
It's the only way I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song's my sorry

At night I pray
That soon your face will fade away

And everytime I try to fly, I fall
Without my wings, I feel so small
I guess I need you, baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you, baby

May It Be
By Enya

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh, how far you are from home

Mornië utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun

Mornië utúlië (darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

Was listening to this just now. It's beautiful! Almost Grecian, almost Celtic. But so Enya. No wonder it's the soundtrack of The Lord of the Rings! oh, Gareth! You are so sweet! haha. Thanks for everything! For the encouragement during the trying times in Chamber Ensemble, for your presence at the SYFC's Christmas concerts, (I really did appreciate having someone like you there!) .. and yeah the chocolate buttons were so cute! I hope you enjoyed your break in London! :D I can't believe you're actually staying on for the YO concert at the end of the year! ok then. I'll probably be there to support! :)

I just found out that Russian is a really cool language! I love the way they write Russian. It's coolness! Was trying to find out what the full title of Shostakovich's piece was, so I took out the scores. I kinda imagined it would be something I can read off the front page, and VOILA! I couldn't read it. It's unlike French where you can kind of deduce, or German, know what I mean? It isn't even in English alphabets. So I decided I'll try to learn it someday. Oh. It isn't only Russian I think is cool. Hebrew's cool too! The language itself sounds so comforting and gentle. Can you imagine God speaking it a long long time ago? I think I would fall asleep in His sermons. It can lullaby me to sleep. :P Not that it's boring!

Just got back from YO.. I don't regret going for it at all. Played Shostakovich Suite from "The Gadfly", Op. 97a today.. it was beautiful. I can't even begin to describe it. When we came to mvt 7, it was so slow and melancholic, it wraps you into the mood of it. And yeah, you really feel it. Like what Mr Lim said, "it's just you and the music.." yeah. It really was. I like it when music such as this transports you away from the reality and bring you into another world, a world more beautiful, more soulful, than the one we're living in now.. it's like living again...

On a lighter note, I got this from Ting's blog! hmm.. don't mind yeah girl? Thought I would share this one. It's so sweet and meaningful.

"On the street I saw a small girl,
cold and shivering in a thin dress,
with little hope of a decent meal.
I became angry and said to God,
"Why do you permit this?
Why don't you do something about it?"
For a while, God said nothing.
That night, He replied quite suddenly,
'I certainly did do something
about it. I made you.'" -taken from Habitat for Humanity website

I think sometimes we're too caught up in the misery within us, we fail to see the misery around, fail to realise the purpose of our living. Yeah.... I don't wanna go through life thinking only about myself, my job etc. And when we look back on it, we haven't really lived a life! That would be one life wasted. Yeah, so what if one win medals, got that promotion, made so much money it could last generations.. it's all for yourself. The world won't lose anything if you were gone. It wouldn't have made any difference... but everyone gravitates towards working for their own survival. And when it one think about it, it's like we're all living in our own bubble, occasionally merging our little bubble with someone else's, someone whom we know and then floating off alone again. The world becomes so cold and distant. I wish I knew my aunt more. I wish everyone knew her more. If there were so many of her, we wouldn't have to find solace in music, seek a better world in the music... But what's gone is gone and she's never coming back. She was such a great lady, one of the very few selfless people I know. And I don't easily bestow respect on anyone, but she has my utmost respect. For her courage, her faith, her lovingkindness, her selflessness, her ability to love everyone around her...

Watched Desperate Housewives yesterday! And I actually learned something from the show! "The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Even if you hate someone it means you still have feelings for him.." Bree actually said that to her son! That's cool! and when you think about it, it's so true! hmm.. food for thought everyone!

hey.. gosh. I think my blog's dead. No one visits it anymore la. Sheesh. oh wells, but i'm still writing in it right? :D Hmm.. Yu Shan's back from Norway I think. Hey girl, I'm so sorry for missing out on the dinner at Mache! But I had a family dinner and Dad was cooking fried rice! Gosh. My dad hardly ventures near the stove! I really actually considered going, but it was late when it ended. Sorry, girl. We'll meet up when we're more free k? Like when we can get more 409 people to turn up!

I just watched Kill Bill!!! :D Uma Thurman rocks. She's so pretty! Hehz.. and I'm beginning to take to the idea of being a professional assassin! It's cool know. The adrenaline when you kill someone, (I think I'm scaring those around me, with my gory inclinations) when you see their head roll and revenge turns sweet! Or how cool is it when you can actually aim so precisely into someone's heart with a flying knife? And I'm really attracted to the samurai form of art. Coolness. Wish I could own one of those Japanese steel! Oh, did I mention that I think the most stylish fighter is Lucy Liu? Whoever wears a kimono and walks on snow with nothing but socks and fight with a samurai sword, in a death duel? Ok, she's died in the end..but still? You get my drift. Really total coolness!!! hmm.. What else. oh. and I never knew the Black Mamba was the deadliest snake in Africa. It's bite to the face or neck can kill a human in 20mins. And erhmm.. something I learned from the movie, when you're in a tight lock of samurai swords, the best defence is to pluck the other person's eye out... Gross but deadly. you will win. No matter what!

Ok. This is getting too gory. I shall digrest. Let's see. Being a professional killer wasn't the only thing I wanted to be! I thought being a sharp shooter professional killer was cool enough. Now, I think it's cooler to fight with swords and knifes. (Why do I keep gravitating towards the gory details?) and I actually wanted to be a professional sky and base diver! And one thing I always wanted to be since young, a volcanologist! Fancy standing on red hot lava in special suits and watching nature spew it's fiery in red and orange! What else? Oh yeah. In secondary school, I was obsessed with fashion and film! I remember telling Jess I wanted to be a film director and fashion designer! And she was like "yeah! when i see your name scroll up after a film, you must remember me, yeah?" Sure thing, honey.. :) Isn't it cool? Oh and I wanted to have my own fashion show in Milan or London! But Charlotte said "girl, yeah, you can learn fashion. But it really depends if they take to your designs. At best, you make it big. At worse, you come home and set up a tailor shop. And sew zips..." ok. Now I think it's only a dream. Oh and the latest, I wanted to be a strawberry farmer! I wanted to make everything out of strawberry! No joke! I wanted a strawberry ship to ship my products, I wanted a strawberry truck, to transport my strawberries on land, I wanted to live right in the middle of my strawberry field! And I remember telling Oafie about it, and she was like "yeah girl, I used to visit strawberry farms often when I was in Durham,UK and even tried growing strawberries in a small plot of land in my backyard, but in the whole patch, I grew only 1 pathetic strawberry..." ok babe, I get your point...haha. But she agreed to support me whatever I intend to do! My best friend. The one God forgot to give as my sister! What else... oh. The most important. I wanted to be a missionary in Nepal or Cambodia. And Oafie said she wanted to go Africa. And I was like "I can't stand the heat!" I wanted to spread the word in Nepal, lead a simple life, smell the fresh air on the mountains, see the awesome sunset, etc. What else... oh yes. For a brief period of time last year, I wanted to go into the arts. Take up music, be a violinist, (until i realise i'm too amateur) or an artist! sigh. Ok. I'm talking a lot of rubbish..until then..

signing off..

Jesus Take the Wheel
Carrie Underwood

She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Goin' home to see her mama & her daddy with the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

[Chorus:] Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to a shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said, "I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight"

[Chorus:] Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on

Oh, Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, oh

So accurate. Save me from this road I'm on. I'm letting go. So give me one more chance... Jesus, take the wheel.

Gosh! Went Guess today to see Charm. Woo!! I love visiting that place! Got a pair of Guess stilettos! I'm on cloud nine! It's so pretty. Gosh. Now Charm tells me Aldo has a sale! I'm crazy over stilettos! Help!