My Immortal

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Been feeling so down like these days, I hate to put the feeling into words. I don't really talk about it to anyone, just snipets of the real pain. But there's like so much more to these. So much rubbish that I can't unload and I can't think of any way to clear them. Just the everyday vicious cycle of going to school and feeling happy or trying to feel and look happy, when deep down, everything stinks. I think if anyone hears the shit(pardon the language) I'm feeling, they wouldn't understand. But it's not like I'm going to say anything about it. Coz then again, no one deserves to be tortured by a tortured soul. Every night, I wish time would fly and I'll be old enough to do what I always enjoy, to travel the world, to feel independent, to not peer so much into the future. Now, it's like a big black hole. I'm not sure how big the hole is or whether there's light at the end. And then again, this in itself is such a small part of the crap that plagues me.I meant to clean this rubbish up after the trip. But it's back and bigger, like a tumor. The song is really appropriate. (Those who don't know me, please don't think the problem is some stupid BGR crap. Coz it's not.) In a way, this crap does teach me to blot out the sadness and unpleasantness in life. But you either choose to numb yourself to it or face it and feel the consequences. and I chose the latter. I can't blame anyone. And all this crap, I'll swallow it. Until it boils over one day again. Soon.