Yesterday was my last YO concert. The feeling sucks. Really. People were all getting teary and red eyed. And yeah, I would have felt that way if someone hadn't spoiled my mood. But now, come to think of it, it saved me from crying yesterday. It's gone now. All's gone. It's taken away from me and it's never going to be returned. Worse, I don't have many photos of myself to capture those moments of intense happiness. I guess it'll only continue to live in my memory, tucked away in some precious corner in my mind, where I can sometimes pry it open and peer inside, and relive those moments, close my eyes and feel myself back in VCH again, the music above me, around me, beyond me. The sadness that envelops me, choke me. The euphoria that raises me, and sweep me away. It's all that's left. And in it's place, is a big hollow void in my heart. YO is like the best thing that has ever happened in my life, aside from all the great friendships forged. Something I'll never ever regret having done. I've forged so many wonderful friendships, friends who feel as deeply and emotionally for it as me, friends who make me laugh.. I've truly spent wonderful years with you all. It can be stressful at times, yeah in YO, esp when you're in the conductor's line of sight, but everything's worth it when the final swish of the baton ends a dramatic piece and you hear the appreciative applause and stare into the blackness in front of you, becuase the stage lights blind you. When will I ever experience it again? I guess I'll leave it blank. I don't wanna nail the final nail into the coffin. Forever hoping that what's dead will awaken again. Maybe I'm cheating myself, maybe I'm just daring to dream.