Ok. I'll have to make this entry really quick. I have to go down and practise my violin soon. I can't believe how much VCH echoes. yesterday during rehearsal, I was playing and then I heard this sound from the violin and I thought. Who's that playing? And then I realised it was myself. I never knew I sounded so loud and clear. Goodness! Thus, I think i'll have to practise harder. I don't want to make any mistakes on the concert day.
Plus one more thing. I think the most beautiful lady I've ever seen on earth is Li Bing Bing! Gosh! She's so exquisitely beautiful! Let me see if I can upload her picture here. I always thought Asians were good-looking. Who says they aren't?

To tell the truth, I am pretty scared for it. Very in fact. But really, I realised that the only reason for my fear is pride itself. Pride. And now, I realised that I'll do my best. Whatever the result, God has a reason for it to happen. Let it be. "Therefore, don't worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself.Each day has enough troubles of its own." Matthew 6:34.
These days, I sleep without remembering to pray or I think I'll talk to Him the next day and the next. But I always forget. I'm so sorry Lord! Yeah, so I decided that no matter how tired I am, I will have my quiet time with Him. Afterall, who needs more of my attention than my Creator Himself? Even if I spent my whole life talking to Him or doing His work, it would not be enough. He has given me more than I can ask for. And somethings in my life, though imperfect have its own silver linings. And yes, I'm very thankful, for all of it. I think someday when I get to Heaven, I'll ask my Heavenly Father who resides there why He puts unpleasant stuff in my life and until then, I'll be grateful for those. Good or bad.
Sometimes we wonder why should it be. And when everything's over and the event has blown over, do we realise why it should be. Many circumstances in my life has been this way. Countless. That sometimes, its no longer a why, but a when.

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent. Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art. You would make an excellent: Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

You Are Midtown

You love so many things, you don't fit into any one label. Your city girl persona goes to a fancy restaurant one night and a dive bar the next.

Are You Uptown or Downtown?

Your Fashion Style is Classic

You like what's stood the test of time... Simple, well styled clothes that don't scream trendy You stay updated and modern, but your clothes stay in style for a while You wouldn't be caught in animal prints, fake fur, or super bright colors

What's Your Fashion Style?

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

You are Milk Chocolate

A total dreamer, you spend most of your time with your head in the clouds. You often think of the future, and you are always working toward your ideal life. Also nostelgic, you rarely forget a meaningful moment... even those from long ago.

What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

Gosh! I'm super addicted to taking quizzes! But they're fun. :)

create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

Heeeheee.. you can tell I just came from visiting may-maryann-yiiwen-lydia's blog. I'm so pathetic! I've only visited 4% of the world! Gosh. And to think I love travelling! My ambition when i turn 21 will be to see the world on a shoestring! I think the 20 facts about yourself sounds pretty cool. Let me list mine down. :)

1. I love travelling! Especially to cool places with beautiful breath-taking sceneries and are pretty much uncommercialised.
2. I love Beauty and the Beast. It's my all-time favourite. And to this day, I still Belle is the most beautiful girl on earth. Even though she's just a fictional character.
3. I love strawberries. This is random. But I wish to own my very own strawberry farm next time.
4. I love my violin and music. Esp soul music. I actually love oldies too!
5. Of the 4 seasons, I adore the fall-winter transition best. I love the golden brown colours of fallen leaves and the tiny flakes of early winter best.
6. I love to be ensconced in my bubble chair reading a book or listening to music on rainy nights.
7. I love lightnings. AWESOME.
8. Japanese foods, esp sushi appeals to me most. And so does seafood, of any kind.
9. I love winter wear. Esp. trenchcoats, pullovers, ponchos, shawls, etc.
10. I love big cities at night. Esp. Shanghai!
11. oh. This is really important. I love my friends. ALOT. Esp. close ones.
12. One day, I wanna be able to live in a penthouse atop a megapolis. Preferably new York.
13. I love beautiful architecture. Of which I think Europe boasts much of it and now Dubai as well.
14. I love art too. Esp. sculptures. I take pleasure in admiring wondrous works of art and intricate craftsmanship.
15. I love sitting alone or with a close friend by the beach at night and hearing the waves crash quietly on the shores.
16. I love lying on the grass in a big meadow at night and count the shooting stars.
17. I love kids! Gosh. They are so adorable!
18. I enjoy foreign movies and arthouse films. But I only really like the culture and the philosophies it encompass. Nothing more. You know what I mean.
19. My most vivid holiday is to Europe! I remember trekking all the way from our hotel to the Lourve but not getting in. What a pity! But I'll be back one day!
20. I believe there's an almighty, omnipotent God up there who looks down and guides me everyday of my life! And I'm very thankful for that.


Haha. 20 facts about me. As usual, i'm a dreamer and a kid at heart.

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs. You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

Your Inner Child Is Surprised

You see many things through the eyes of a child. Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded. You cherish all of the details in life. Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.

How Is Your Inner Child?

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time. In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet Those who like you have well refined tastes

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Your Birthdate: February 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Life's looking good these few days. I'm really happy and excited. I stayed over for class chalet yesterday and it rocked! I didn't get to sit by the beach and listen to the waves or to wait for the sunrise though. But nothing in my life so far has ever compared to this! We went midnight cycling on the main road from our chalet to Katong Shopping Centre, then we went in and played dota. Then we cycled from Katong Shopping Centre to Bedok Jetty by the main road, at midnight.
After the BBQ, we decided to cycle all the way to the nearest late-night shop that provides LAN. (I think coz the guys live and breathe on cyber-gaming). So we all got bikes and thus began our journey. It was a little freaky at first, even though there weren't many cars on the road, but after a while, I got pretty used to it. Actually, we didn't go as a whole group, coz Zhi Xian had to stay back to lock the chalet and Yun Hua's parents weren't there to pick her yet, so she had to stay in the chalet. I ended up as the only girl cycling there with the guys first. I never knew I had such gallant classmates. They actually made sure i was in the middle of our single-file, so i won't lose my way. Sometimes, the Y-chromosome makes you want to cry, sometimes you just can't imagine life without it. And I even learned a tip or 2 about braking from Daniel! We were actually riding down the underpass, and there were a few turns at the bottom of each slope. So I had a hard time braking in time to avoid hitting the wall at each turn and I learned that to brake gently, apply the right brake first, coz it controls the front wheel! Okie. I know I'm slow, having not realised it before. So we reached there finally, and found a dota shop. Problem was, there were so many bikes and we had to find a way to park all of them. In the end, we managed to use David and Vipul's bike locks to lock the bikes on the outside.
LANing is BORING. It really is! After a few games and my head having been pawned by IAMDANIEL, ISLAM (Vipul) and Anyi so many times, I saw stars and had a headache. Why can't my bloody man move faster???? Gosh, half the time i was running away from the bad guys. And I keep finding myself dying and telleported back to the start. GROSS. Counter-strike was worse. Everytime I pick up my gun and before i can turn around and take cover, I'm shot and I'm dead. By none other than David, Anyi and Daniel again. Thanks dude! So I spent half the time looking through the eyes of either of them or having a free look. So that was CS 1.6. But nearer the end, we played dota again, and Shifu helped me. Okie, he upgraded me from a pathetic level 4 to a level 10. Cool~ Enough about LAN. Before we left the place, all of us used the toilet first. I swear i'll kill Daniel the next time he does it again. I was walking out of the girls' washroom, and before that, Vipul rolled back his eyes and stood so close the door, the first thing we saw was him looking possessed. Keep in mind its alomst 1am in the morning. And the place was deserted. So i walked out and Daniel was standing on the sink outside and scared the hell out of me. I screamed like a girl horror film and Daniel just kept laughing. Daniel, I swear I'll kill you if you try it again. *mock angry face* *grins* But it as fun, nonetheless, so we cycled on and passed this guy with 4 hookers. I don't know if he even know the meaning of moral and ethics and the dangers of getting HIV or STDs. Anyhow, we stopped over at a petrol station to buy snacks and stuff before heading straight to Bedok Jetty.
Bedok Jetty was so cold! I guess it's the land-breeze thingy we learned about in Geog. Talked to Shifu for a while and enjoyed the view and breeze before we sat around to play some games. It was funny to see the guys do forefits. It really cracked me up. Then it started drizzling and we raced back to the chalet on our bikes. It was almost 5am by then and we fell flat and slept.
And here I am, blogging from the comforts of home, bathed and comfortable. I'm finally getting some life injected into my boring lifestyle. Thanks gurls and guys!

I've added a new blogskin!!! I love it. I love everything about winter, the cold, the loneliness, the pure whiteness, the serenity. Awesome. Everything's pretty cool these days, just that I don't quite feel like I'm living a life yet. Really. The days just spill from one to the other and sometimes, i don't quite realise its nighttime till i see the moonrays streaming in onto me from my window. I'll be going for 3M's class chalet later. I hope it'll be fun though I have certain regrets of not being able to stay over. I really want to sit by the beach at night like i did 2 years back and listen to the waves crashing gently on the shore, and peer into the utter darkness of the sea before me and find me and my troubles so small against the universe. Or sit in the bitter cold of the small hours by the sea, waiting for the first rays of the day to break quietly over the horizon. I'll never be able to do that this year, I guess. That's really sad. I'll be having some rehearsal later. I hope it'll be fruitful. Nothing exciting's realy gonna happen these days, and I've kind of resigned myself to that fact.

Night

I think my blog's getting a little too dark these days. But yeah, that's my life. I feel it getting darker each day, like the darkness just closes in on me and envelopes everything. I can't stand it. On a lighter note, class chalet is coming up. I can't say i'm pretty excited, coz I'm so busy these days, i think i can only make it down for the bbq. Isn't it pathetic? I feel like i don't even have a life now. Sigh. Where have all the fun days gone? Or did i just not treasure them?

It's so unbearably hot here. I can't do anything. Plus my room feels like its gonna bake me any minute. Isn't it autumn/winter the world over? Gosh. It's so oppressively hot here! I can't stand it!
On a lighter note, there's gonna be class outing today! I'm not talking about 3m class outing. I wouldn't really be jumping for joy then, coz I only really wanna see a few people. Mainly the girls and some guys. Not all. You know how guys can be a pain in the neck sometimes... It's 409 outing today! Too bad I have rehearsal until 6 and the outing ends at 7.. I have to rush down from RJ to Orchard in like how fast?! Anyhow, Sue Jen and I are having dinner together! I love Orchard at night. It kinda turns surreal, especially at this time of the year, with the Christmas decorations and lights!
The day should get better. I already have nothing to look forward to this holiday. Boo.

It's so unbearably hot here. I can't do anything. Plus my room feels like its gonna bake me any minute. Isn't it autumn/winter the world over? Gosh. It's so oppressively hot here! I can't stand it!
On a lighter note, there's gonna be class outing today! I'm not talking about 3m class outing. I wouldn't really be jumping for joy then, coz I only really wanna see a few people. Mainly the girls and some guys. Not all. You know how guys can be a pain in the neck sometimes... It's 409 outing today! Too bad I have rehearsal until 6 and the outing ends at 7.. I have to rush down from RJ to Orchard in like how fast?! Anyhow, Sue Jen and I are having dinner together! I love Orchard at night. It kinda turns surreal, especially at this time of the year, with the Christmas decorations and lights!
The day should get better. I already have nothing to look forward to this holiday. Boo.

topsy-turvy

Life sucks. Everything stinks. Every night, i find myself plugging in and listening to Perfect World by Simple Plan. And every night, i find myself sinking deeper and deeper into this state of depression. Every single night. I can't find a way out, everything pulls me into a deep pit and i can't breathe, i can't get out. everyday i blog almost more than once. Coz everything around me upsets me. I could kick everything up, smash up my stupid violin, tear the pages out of the books. It takes a lot to hold it in. Everything just falls apart. All the time. Welcome to my world upside down.

Rainy nights..

I'm back, from a very tumultous night. Was wrestling within myself about alot of things. Last night, I lay awake in bed and watched the lightning crack across the sky. I love lightnings. THey are so powerful, so surreal, it seems as though God Himself was showing me something beautiful, a most spectacular creation of His. And because every lightning bolt is unique, it's really a joy to watch it trigger down the night sky, lighting the darkness so momentarily. Then I as thinking alot about stuff too. Mostly about how I suddenly realise I'm so blessed to have so many close friends, friends I can just call when I'm upset, friends who will be there to notice signs of unrest within me, friends who will bear my nonsense, friends whom I have talk serious stuff with when the rest just see me as this cold marble pillar, friends who have seen me through secondary school, or even primary... and I thank God for all of them. Then I wondered what it would be like if those friends i lost got to know me better.. but somehow I feel one can only have so many good friends. Because like and like attract, there are some people we meet in our lives that we are bound not to have a close friendship with. It's very sad, because I see friends as wonderfully white snow flakes, so those I'm close to, I gather the flakes and form snow balls and those I'm not just flutter in front of me to the ground and when I want to pick up the lost threads of our friendship, it's as hard as finding a flake in a pile of foreign flakes. and then those i'm close to, add up until i make a snowman who smiles back at me when I'm happy and melts at my tears. And those lost flakes will be lost forever, until I happen to pick it up and realise I once saw it flutter in front of me. I don't know.

This is bad. Sometimes, I think I'm very cold and unfriendly to those i'm not close to. I really don't intend to be so cold, but at times I just think I have no right to act like we're close, when we're not. And for me, close friends of mine at made over smiles and tears. But I have so few tears that fall from real deep sadness and disappointment! Have been thinking that I may have upset alot of people from my withdrawal when I think I don't have the right to probe further. So I come across as anti-social or ungentle. I don't mean to, really, it's just that I'm afraid of the consequences if I attempt to grow closer. There are alot of what ifs. I don't know anymore. I wish I could express my feelings more adequately, but sometimes, i just don't know how. i've upset alot of people I think becasue i don't seem to show the right emotions. Like when I'm really thankful to mummy, I don't know how to show it. or say it. So sometimes mummy think I'm not grateful enough. Or like when I really feel like hugging a friend to tell her how much she means to me, I have so many reservations about it, I end up smiling weakly. Or when I'm really upset about stuff around me, i put it in so light-hearted terms, no one sees the pain behind it. So they misunderstand me. I wish I could tell all those I'm not close to that I didn't mean to be so cold, but it's so useless now. I don't even know how to bridge the gap. It's so confusing.

It's so boring to be stuck here at home, I'm trying to configure something in my comp to make it play music, but it just won't play. URGH. So here I am, music-less, trying my best to make the most of the day.
I didn't go for Chamber today. Simply because I thought it was from 2 onwards. But it turned out that it starts at 9. So while I was ironing my school uniform to go to school, I got a call to say Chamber just ended. Poof. And I was looking forward to playing more music!
Anyway, today I found ants around my carpet. So I thought there must be some sweet source. True enough, I found my sweet wrapper still in my denim mini skirt! EWW... so I took it out and washed it. But then, the ants didn't go away. So I followed the trail and guess what? It led into a crack just above my window. So I took my vacuum cleaner to suck up all the ants on the ground, and tried sucking the ants from the crack. Too bad my vacuum doesn't have a strong enough suction. I almost broke my neck holding the nossle upwards trying to suck the ants on my ceiling. I've given up though, in case you're wondering. I shall wait for daddy to get back and patch the crack up. I can't stand living among ants.
You can pretty much tell that my life's so boring, I'm reduced to sucking ants. -.-

Since U Been Gone

Here's the thing
We started out friends
It was cool, but it was all pretend
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
Dedicated, you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I picture me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you, now I get what I want
Since you been gone

How can I put it, you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah, yeah, since you been gone
How come I'd never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
Guess you never felt that way

But since you been gone
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah, yeah
Thanks to you, now I get, I get what I want
Since you been gone

You had your chance, you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth, I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again

Since you been gone (since you been gone)
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get, I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
I'm so movin' on, yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know) that I get
I get what I want

Since you been gone
Since you been gone
Since you been gone

I'm pretty happy. Now, at least. I'm a free girl again. Woohoo. I can't believe I wasted so much time on wishful dreaming last time. It's over. You're out of my mind. Life's looking good. Drew up my Christmas wishlist today. Yeah, I know it's a little early. But who cares? So I went around the house asking who wants to fulfill what. I'm pretty surprised that mom and sis actually entertained my nonsense. This is one of the perks of being the youngest. You can do the silliest of things and no one cares. So Charm agreed to get me that lime green towel sweater. And coz the pice gets higher down the list, mom said "let's see about it". Yes, mom, I'll definitely see to it. :)

Gone.

Been feeling very down these days. How will you ever know I miss you? Urgh. And even your memory is fading in my mind. And I can't grasp hold of it, because every time i do, it fades even more and faster still. Urgh. And no one understands. And you will never know. You who may never claim my smiles, my kisses and my hugs. Can I say I'm sorry? Can't I turn back time? I'll tell you everything. I won't keep you guessing. I promise. But it's too late now... or is it not?

It's useless now...