Rainy nights..

I'm back, from a very tumultous night. Was wrestling within myself about alot of things. Last night, I lay awake in bed and watched the lightning crack across the sky. I love lightnings. THey are so powerful, so surreal, it seems as though God Himself was showing me something beautiful, a most spectacular creation of His. And because every lightning bolt is unique, it's really a joy to watch it trigger down the night sky, lighting the darkness so momentarily. Then I as thinking alot about stuff too. Mostly about how I suddenly realise I'm so blessed to have so many close friends, friends I can just call when I'm upset, friends who will be there to notice signs of unrest within me, friends who will bear my nonsense, friends whom I have talk serious stuff with when the rest just see me as this cold marble pillar, friends who have seen me through secondary school, or even primary... and I thank God for all of them. Then I wondered what it would be like if those friends i lost got to know me better.. but somehow I feel one can only have so many good friends. Because like and like attract, there are some people we meet in our lives that we are bound not to have a close friendship with. It's very sad, because I see friends as wonderfully white snow flakes, so those I'm close to, I gather the flakes and form snow balls and those I'm not just flutter in front of me to the ground and when I want to pick up the lost threads of our friendship, it's as hard as finding a flake in a pile of foreign flakes. and then those i'm close to, add up until i make a snowman who smiles back at me when I'm happy and melts at my tears. And those lost flakes will be lost forever, until I happen to pick it up and realise I once saw it flutter in front of me. I don't know.